Dom Nader and Adrian Archer (aka comedians Christiaan Van Vuuren and Nick Boshier) reveal what it takes to be cutting-edge in a technology-obsessed world. As told by Alex Greig.
Which social media platforms do you use?
Dom Nader How long have you got?
Adrian Archer Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Musical.ly, Boomerang, Loathemyselfagram, Makingmyselflookawesomeeventhough Icryeverynightbook.
Do you have any tips for successful Instagram selfies?
DN Just be honest. If you want to take a photo of your body, just take a photo of your body. You don’t need to hold up a dog or pretend the photo is about your cat. Just take a straight-up photo of your body and be like #sorryboutit #freethenipple.
Has anyone followed you on Instagram that you were really excited about?
DN [British conspiracy theorist] David Icke. We were excited at first but then all these guys in black suits started following us – and not just on Instagram, like IRL. IRL means “in real life” if you’re not down with the internet lingo, or DWTIL, as we say on the internet.
Who do you follow on Twitter?
DN David Icke, The Illuminati... and Kim Kardashian.
Which apps do you use?
AA Tinder, Bender – those sorts of ahpps.
Had any successful dates on Tinder?
DN I had to quit Tinder for a while.
AA Yeah, I had to tell him: “You think you’re all thoughtful and broody but you’ve just got a thousand-yard stare because you’ve been running around Bondi, wasting your soul one backpacker at a time.”
DN Yeah, it’s all true. I was in a sad place.
What ideas for apps have you had?
AA I find that in this day and age, it’s really important to talk to the spirit of another person. So I’ve been developing a spiritual translator. You write stuff into the ahpp then it will tell you how to say the same thing in a more spiritual-sounding way. For example, if someone were to ask why I moved to Bondi, I wouldn’t say “to date lots of girls”; I’d say “to see what the universe sends my way” or “to find myself”. So if you write “that guy is an idiot”, it comes out like “that dude has a bad vibe” or “he brings a negative energy”. The ahpp gives you a range of answers for any given situation.
What was your latest technology purchase?
DN An Oculus Rift [virtual-reality headset].
What tech do you wish existed but doesn’t?
AA That’s not a great question. I mean, if I thought something should exist, then I’d go out there and create it. That’s what creative people do.
How do you feel about your phone?
AA It’s a burden. Fashion designers can’t keep up with all the new models in terms of pocket space so every time you get a new phone, you’re also having to buy new jeans, new jackets, new shorts. Don’t get me wrong, I love shopping; it’s just a pain having to ask my dad for money all the time. I already asked him to pay for my phone plan; now I’ve got to ask him for a couple of grand to fill out a new wardrobe?
What’s your most-visited internet site?
AA Snopes.com, because I’m constantly needing to check if heavy conspiracies are legit. But I read somewhere that Snopes is actually run by the government and it’s there to throw people off the scent of legit truths so now I need a new Snopes to tell me if Snopes is legit.
In a battle between Apple and Android, who wins?
AA Neither. Nokia 3210 has owned the mobile market from the day it was created by the mobile-phone gods. Nothing will ever be as good as a Nokia 3210. Once, when I was driving, my 3210 flew out the window of the car, got run over by a truck and came apart in only three pieces. I put it back together and it was fine.
DN I was fishing one night with my dad and I dropped my 3210 in the water, left it the whole night, came back the next morning, fished it out, took it home, broke it into three pieces, put it in the microwave to dry it out, put it back together again and it worked perfectly. Still had my highest Snake score on there and everything. ￼
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